Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
