I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
