I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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