thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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