I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
