Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize