just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm really busy with my period
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