Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
