i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
