Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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