just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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