just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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