The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
