I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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