"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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