she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
