So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
