Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
