Nicole vs. Life
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
