we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
