I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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