Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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