Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
