We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
