I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
