i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
