I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
