apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
