We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
