God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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