Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
