And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Help. Why am I so naked?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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