Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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