i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
