Whatcha textin bout Willis?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
