i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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