My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize