Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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