Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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