Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
