Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
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The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm really busy with my period
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