i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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