I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My liver just had a heart attack.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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