we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She's the barista slut.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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