at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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