Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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