So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
