Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
