That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
