oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Randomize