turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
