And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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