the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
