Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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