so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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