I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
