check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
