watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
