I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
