Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize