Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
