smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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