you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
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I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
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Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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