just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
