Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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