Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize