I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
