I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
