We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
