I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
